The Maturation of a Sports Broadcaster

Dave Flemming goes through Puberty on the Air
by Duane Greenwald
1/24/2011

San Francisco - We have all heard the call.  It is a staple of San Francisco Bay Area lore.  It will live the test of time much like Russ Hodges, "The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant!"

Renteria hits a high drive, deep left center field, David Murphy going back, he's on the warning track, it is GOOOONNNEE!!!  Edgar Renteria, has hit a three-run homer against Cliff Lee, and the Giants lead here in the World Series, three to nothing.

Dave Flemming, born May 31, 1996, has been a Giants broadcaster since 2004.  Since the age of 7, he has been doing broadcasts with Hall of Famer Jon Miller.  Miller, born in the same year as the "Shot Heard 'Round the World," can appreciate the club Flemming has joined.

"Flem has joined the elite company of Russ Hodges, Lon Simmons, Hank Greenwald, Duane Kuiper and myself.  To do it at such a young age is truly remarkable." said Miller.

A boy genius, he graduated with a masters from Stanford at the age of 5 and with a journalism degree from Syracuse at 6. 

"His accomplishments in the classroom are practically fictional, or 'Doogian,'" said actor Neil Patrick Harris.

 Now his words will live on forever, which is a goal Flemming set for himself while in the womb.

He looks very mature for 14.



Barry Bonds is Designing his Own Statue

Barry Bonds is designing his own statue
By Benito Benitez
12/16/2010


SAN FRANCISCO - Barry Bonds is tired of waiting.  The Home Run King has decided to build his own statue at China Basin.  The San Francisco Giants have already built five statues for their four most legendary former players.  Willie Mays, Bonds godfather, Willie McCovey, Juan Marichal and Orlando Cepeda.  The fifth statue is of a seal balancing a baseball on his nose to honor the San Francisco Seals minor league baseball team that used to play in the city.  Bonds, who has a Junior Giants field named after him, wants a statue to be built there as well.
"I've always loved children, and I feel there is no better place for my bronze statue then hovering over the children who play baseball at Barry Bonds Field.  When kids are going to catch a flyball, I want my arms outstretched pointing to the sky high above them."  
Bonds would like to honor his father by building a statue of himself at home plate after rounding the bases with his classic double point to the heavens.  
"I have been working with my agent to trademark my signal to the sky for my father.  Nobody else should be able to do it again with 20 pounds of armor on their left elbow other than me."  
A spokesman for the Giants, speaking on the condition on anonymity, said that talks of a statue have been discussed, as well as re-naming AT&T Park, The Place That Bonds Built.
"We have only had preliminary talks about a name change once our deal with AT&T comes to an end.  Barry really built this stadium after he helped save us from going to Tampa Bay.  The fact that we even still have a team in San Francisco is as much his doing as anyone else.  We owe him a statue and we want to give him the naming rights as well.  Hopefully, both can come together in the future."

Possible Statue Design

Naming Rights for Stadium could change again

Brian Wilson To Retire His Beard

Brian Wilson To Retire His Beard
by Chili Huff Daddy
12/15/2010

SAN FRANCISCO - Brian Wilson has decided to hang up the beard for good.  Wilson came to the decision yesterday, and held a small press conference today is his hometown of Londonderry, New Hampshire.
"I had an regal run as Blackbeard the Giant in 2010.  My beard absolutely nailed it in the World Series.  I am so proud of my teammates.  FACT.  I look forward to my beard predecessor, Sergio Romo, trying to fill out the cheekbones I am leaving behind."
When asked about what his plans were going forward, Wilson made his other big announcement.
"After a long discussion with my family and Team Awesome, I have decided to Fear the Fu-Man-Chu next season."



Beware next year's Fu-Man-Chu



Dodgers Sign Big Name Giants Phenom

Dodgers Sign Big Name Giants Phenom
By Candy VanLaunchingPad
12/14/2010

SAN FRANCISCO - Giants are reeling after the latest blow from the Loss Angeles Dodgers front office.  Ned Colletti has stolen another top prospect from the Giants system.  Giants officials were unavailable for comment at the time of the signing, but were able to sit down for an exclusive interview today to discuss the latest wound in the farm system.
"It came as a shock to us all that we couldn't work things out with Eugenio (Velez) to bring him back to (The) Fresno (Grizzlies)."  a spokesperson for the Giants said, speaking on the condition on anonymity.  "We are not sure if we can recover."
"Eugenio gave us a lot of intangibles that you just don't see in many Eugenios.  He had the ability to play multiple positions, he had the ability to run back and forth from Fresno to San Francisco faster than most and he had a knack for coming up with the big hit when we weren't even looking."
"When you have a player of that caliber, you don't look to replace him, you just ask others to try to fill his jersey in some way.  Will we be able to find another Velez?  Maybe.  But if we are lucky, we can find someone with a first name as unique as Eugenio someday."
The Giants are working tirelessly to try to fill the void left by the loss of the man who's name was carefully carved in the 2006 MVP trophy of the Augusta Green Jackets.
"When you have a name of that difficulty, you have to work extra hard to make sure it is carved just right." said Glenallen Cruz Jr., a member of the Augusta front office since 2003.
Maybe the Giants will never find another Eugenio, no matter what phone book they look in.  The only member of the Giants staff that might be breathing a sigh of relief is the man in charge of the locker room nameplates.

A Once in a Lifetime Eugenio